Lacunae

  Wax candle with body, hands and feet cut off My motorbike has broken down, my MZ. I am invited into a small house nearby while I try to fix it. The woman there is getting ready to go out. I think it is around Christmas time. She has one side of her hair pinned down. When I leave, she gives me the candle above, which she tells me she made.  

  I’ve been asked to leave an art class, as I’m not enrolled at the School and the ‘artists’ are getting ready to ‘perform’.  The teacher is sat behind  a standup piano with a younger looking version of herself next to her.  I’m standing and staring at her as I head to the exit. She seems to have small golden bells in her hair which stand up like there are wires in it.  I stare too long and she says ‘You should be leaving’.  On the wide open road outside I turn around to see a procession of 2 dimensional, multi-coloured, man size, Felix the cats, running on the right side of the road.  At first I think there is just one but they are all behind the first one; all colours..  I cross the road at a crossing where there is a big , old fashioned (a bit like chitty chitty bang bang) white car, which appears to be driven backwards; along with a white boat squeezed next to it.  I see the driver, who is faced forward.  He has a big...

  I'm with a couple of new-ish younger friends and see my older brother, looking very fat and on a beach somewhere in England; its not very warm.  He cannot swim and is in trouble as the water is coming in quickly.  I rush forward towards him next to an overhanging concrete sea wall and get trapped between the wall and the water coming in.  The wall, which is concave, starts growing over me, it is crystalline and murky /see through.  It forms a trap over me so I cannot escape as the water rises.  I start desperately pulling and kicking at it but it is useless. I am going to die, in a state of panic, as the wall completely encapsulates me with the water rushing up from below.  I wake up.  Cheers... 

 

  I'm on a mound of earth, on a construction site,  I am surrounded by (older) friends I grew up with (i'm probably around 12 yrs old) and a pit of earth below.  Someone holds out a deer's head to me.  I rip off its antlers and throw them into the hole below me.  They land in the soft earth at the bottom and slowly disappear into it.  Next .I'm on the landing in a house, at night time, which is being decorated,  It feels familiar and I look down the hall which is glowing pink / blue from the fluorescent lights / tubing which is being installed on the walls.  I realise it's the house I grew up in but it feels alot bigger.  It feels a bit like Xmas.  The lighting design is minimal, like an underground techno club, and there is someone in front of me who I can't really make out, who is threading the blue tubing into the middle panels of the wall (with the pink-ish lighting evenly dotted around the rectangular frames)....

  In this 'scene' I am in an old fashioned mini (car) with Magalie.  I am sat on the left hand side and I am driving; even though I have never driven a car.  It becomes apparent that the car is swaying around the roads and It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep control.  This is partly because the roads are filling with water, and people are running away into the distance away from my erratic driving and becoming small stick men.  It is raining quite heavily,  and the roads are now full of water.  I stop the car and determine that the difficulty in trying to drive was because I was sat in the back seat leaning past the front seat to steer the wheel. Next scene: the car is inside a pub, next to the bar,  no one seems to mind.  myself and a friend are sat stationary in the car.  he opens his door to create more room and sits there reading the 'Sunday Sport' newspaper and minding his own business.  I get out the ...

  I am being shown a new 'flat' - the person who is showing me is showing me a secret place, which they have got me excited about; it feels like I'm being shown something 'sneaky' and I could potentially get this place - its hush hush.  We sneak into a vast cavernous place / in a cave or something, and I am shown a make-shift space which looks like a lock up made of wooden panels; the excitement rises - When I see it I feel a sense that I am getting a special deal and am pleased that it is unique and secretive / like I should not be getting this.  When  we come out of the small shed like space - which in retrospect was pretty basic but had everything you might need.  I notice that there are lots of dogs in pens.  They are good looking dogs and passive and well groomed.  as I am led off by the 'agent' and they are excited for me to get such a place I notice on an unpainted slat a decompressed, shivering small whippet type dog , lying on th...

  August (probably) 2017 woke up at 4:44 am I’m sat in a basement of a house, with my grandad. I see my deceased father ( x 2) hopping down the stairs, one after another (like penguins); when one reaches the bottom the other smashes into him and they disappear. My granddad tells me that if this happens again then I should give him two hugs. I feel like I am seven years old.

 

     

  I'm in a car , sat on an ex-girl friends lap(?) with a friend sat behind me (it must be a big car) and I see a sign and ask the ex 'have you been to cokin'. I think this is really amusing for some reason. She has very bright red lipstick on and I have no idea where we are going. The car pulls over and there is a dog with its mouth sewn together with wool in big stitches and its ears seem to have been sewn too. I think this is quite disturbing as this mutilation has been done to make it look cute - it is tied to a post and is lurching towards us. I then woke up. The night before I dreamt about a giant stick insect, about the size of an adults upperbody, inside a glass box the size of its body. answers on a postcard please.

I found these early little stories as 'drafts' on this blog.  I have no recollection of writing this.  But It sounds like me, so here it is, thirteen years later... Dream time - I'm in a busy street at night time, its a bit like Soho, London - I go into a cafe and instantly know that it is Heaven - it is bright, white and very Dull, I think I should stay, but decide that its better else where.  I go to another cafe - its dark , comfortable and I meet a nice sexy girl, who I really vibe with - I decide this is where I belong - Its Hell. So not only does the devil have the best tunes but also the best coffee houses! Not too deep this one - laters, see you in . ..

  it's summer time and I'm digging in some soil in a back yard; I come across a coffin shaped piece of embossed, plain pottery - I try to pick it up but it breaks, underneath it I find another piece and try, carefully, to lift it - this breaks, I do this one more time and decide it is too valuable to even attempt to move; thinking I've reached the bottom of the coffin cases. I go into the shop, which this is the back garden of, and pick up the phone to try and phone the Natural History museum about my find. I'm being a bit secretive but then the owner of the shop - which is a bric a brac / junk shop comes up from behind the counter and I tell him about my discovery. We return to the back yard - and I discover that in my absence he has dig up all the soil and put the broken contents in suitcases on two sunloungers. I explain that I thought they were valuable roman burial pieces, as a lot had been discovered when excavating the nearby new office blocks (spit...

  I'm in an exotic, dry, hot, country, its high up and I'm at a temple or spiritual oasis. I'm on a flat roof and introduced to an oriental man (buddhist monk?) I'm with an Australian friend who seems to know the man. He is old, bald and wearing robes - I reach out to shake his hand - as our hands touch I am propelled into the sky - not by force but as if gravity has just stopped. I can breathe and I am fine. I reach a point and stop accelerating upwards and just kind of drift and look down - everything seems in slow motion - I am in the air, suspended over a large crevice and can see water at the bottom - I think this will break my fall, but will probably die , but feel exhilarated by the prospect of falling such a huge way. I am not scared, but think it would be better to land on the ground at the side of the ravine and not die. I start falling swerve in the air away from the huge drop ( a bit like wile coyote in road runner) to the side which is scorched, dry , crack...

  I'm a child (8/9) and I'm at my grandparents house in Romford , Essex and I'm in the front bedroom, where I stayed a s a kid. I go over to the single bed to retreive the white cat which is lying there, but as I go to pick it up a giant sized labrador dog jumps on top of me (we never had a labrador or white cat), its bigger than me and is playfull but is crushing me, I try to roll under it - its just being friendly but I start feeling clostrophobic and cannot breathe, i'm smothered by it - I panic and am consumed with darkness, in desperation i shove my fingers into where its groin - urrghh. The dog gets off me with a startled expression, looking confused and leaves. I leave the room as well and on the stair landing see a sink on the floor , full of water with a baby lying passively, just looking up - I ignore it and go into the bathroom and the toilet has been removed and is now in the middle of the room with my mum she is washing a grey cat in the toilet bowl; which ...

  I'm on the second floor of run down hospital, light fittings are broken and I'm running. The place is a mess, paint peeling and darkness - there are no patients - this dream seems to be in 3 parts which inter-cut together - next I'm in my minds version of new york - i'm on foot and trying to get somewhere - back to the hospital (UK) there are large pools of water on the floor -most of the lights are broken and I'm running ,but trying to avoid the water / slipping - at some point I reach an oriental male doctor and ask him about the rash on my chest and then ignore whatever he says - I'm aware that someone else who I know has just won 10,000 pounds, I read this on a computer screen. Next: I'm on a boat - a small rowing boat with two girls, I know them both , but can only recognise one; who is my old house mate suzie ,who is irish. The river current is very strong and the river is wide, we are rowing towards a small island and I am not worried about anything...

 My Yellow wallet was stolen by Andy Bell (frm Erasure??) in spitalfields market - I was feeling low - so a friend went and got it back for me - I was very gratefull as there were some tickets in it which I had promised someone. After this I turned up at an ex-girlfriends house and found water pouring down into the living room, through the light fitting, which seemed dangerous. Her depressed sister with long, dark, greasy hair was too unmotivated to do anything. I went up the stairs with a friend and the ex-GF was sat with her new BF at a long table - they hardly acknowledged me; I think I tried to tell them about the water but they ignored me and I forgot about it. We sat on the floor at the opposite end. I think we were going to make a joint but the couple got up with the girl announcing that they were going to have a bath - they came over asking for some rolling papers - I was acting like I did not care and was handing them over ,then she mentioned again they were going to have ...

  I'm sat on the floor of a pub and so is everyone else- everyones high / drunk, there doesn't appear to be any chairs or tables, its a very relaxed atmosphere, its actually my local library at brixton oval, but I don't realise this until I wake. Anyhow I'm lounging and talking to a girl with blonde hair - i'm aware that i'm also with a female friend but not sure who. At kicking out time we leave and both start walking down the road in the same direction - she has a broad northern accent and I ask her where she's from. She's from Blackpool and I reply 'so am I'. Although I feel a bit embaressed that I don't have an accent. We seem to be getting on well so ask her if she wants to come back to mine - she agrees and asks if I mind if she brings her boyfriend, who appears with my female friend (??) - my heart drops - and think to myself why does this happen to me everytime. we carry on walking together, with the others in front. I ...